Post ACL surgery :)

Hello hello! This is a long overdue post. I’ve wanted to make this post for like 5 months and you wanna know the truth as to why I haven’t? Since Apple likes to screw us over and have us update our phones/buy new versions in order for them to work, I have not been able to upload pictures on my Macbook anymore! Very frustrating. With the amount of pictures I store in my phone, you would think I’m a wedding photographer. Anyway! I’ve been wanting to share my journey of one of the worst things that had ever happened to me as a runner… my torn ACL.

It all started after at my beach volleyball league at Gill Dawgs. I was playing almost every day after work and on weekends for up to 4 hours per day with the crew and was having THE BEST TIME EVER doing this. It brought me back to high school/club days. The music, the dancing, the digging, friends... ugh, love. Also, my team's name was the ACEHOLES.. lol best team name ever.

SO ANYWAY, during a super important game against another undefeated time, we had lost the first game, so as the only defensive specialist (and only girl) on the team, I knew I had to step my game up. I literally said out loud “Okay, literally the only thing hitting the sand is going to be me. Here we go”. Now granted, I do this all the time. Once I make a mistake I will say, “Okay! Let’s be professionals! Let’s go!”.  I remember saying this to everyone in high school/club volleyball too. So just as I normally would, I dove to my left to dig a ball that was missed by the blockers (thanks guys). I felt my knee make this weird pop thing, but honestly thought it was just my knee dislocating and going back in. I sat there… gathered myself, and said “okay.. I’m fine. Yeah. I’m good”. I went back to keep playing, and felt like Gumby- like my right leg was super unstable and didn’t have support. It was the oddest feeling but I honestly wanted to keep playing.. so I did. After 2 more plays, my knee felt like it kept coming out. The dislocating thing happened like 3 more times. It was SO weird. It didn’t even hurt, nor was it inflamed. My volleyball peeps told me to sit out and brought me ice on the sideline as I watched my team lose. I was told to go get it checked, but honestly.. it really didn’t even hurt! I was like, “what?! Why? I’m fine!”. 

This was the morning after.. icing cause I had no idea what else to do. 

For the next week or so, I still ran like 8 miles a day and iced my knee after. What I did notice was that every time I turned a weird way, my knee would just BURN. Getting out of the car, flipping over to my stomach on the bed, turning to switch directions… ugh. So, I decided to swallow my pride and see a surgeon. I researched what it could be and I diagnosed myself with a torn meniscus and that I’d be fine within 4-6 weeks cause, you know.. we’re all doctors here.

waiting..

I figured this is what the surgeon would say however within 20 seconds of him seeing me, he did that weird knee jerk thing and said “Unfortunately, you’ve torn your ACL”.

....*silence*…. Um. Now just think. If running/volleyball/being active is literally almost everything to me, and I hear this... how do you think I felt? I just sat there and stared at him.

“What? NO.  What do you mean? God please, NO”.

It was top 2 of the biggest shocks I have had in my life. I ended up getting an MRI, and it was confirmed…. completely torn ACL. Granted, I was still in denial, so I got a second opinion… and yes, still torn. I scheduled the surgery, then cancelled it 1 week later cause I figured maybe I could rehab without getting surgery. Then again, there is always that chance that you don’t rehab well enough, and injure yourself even more. The surgeon said I could get away with it by just running, as long as I am running in a straight line. I thought, “Well, duh.. I don’t run sideways soo.. yeah! Let’s not get surgery”. Eventually I thought, “You know what? Forget it. I can’t just do this temporary fix and end up screwing myself over. I need to fix the MAIN problem and stop being in denial. I’ll get the freaking surgery”. I re-scheduled it, and went in about a month later (cause I couldn’t miss my best friends bachelorette that was planned at the end of August in Savannah.. Haha.. priorities).

Kelly's bachelorette!

And of course I STILL ran there :)

SOOO! I had an entire month to prepare my brain that I would not be running for up to 6 months. It was easily one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to follow through with. I ran the entire time (not sideways) and eventually, September 21 came around and I ran my last 6 miles at 5 am before surgery. I didn’t really talk much that whole morning, as you would expect. 

About to go in!

Long story short (even though this is a long story, lol), surgery went well and I was on my way home with daddio.

Before

After

I don’t remember the car ride, even though I had taken pictures of myself in the back seat of my dad’s truck, haha. 

My friends and family came to visit me, got some care packages and brought me cute things over the course of 2 weeks. Sleeping and going to the bathroom were very sticky situations. I literally didn’t go to the bathroom for hours and hours because guys.. can you imagine not sitting on the toilet every single time you have to go? Graphic, but I had to pee in a vomit tray and funnel it into the toilet while standing because I COULD NOT sit down! Mind you, I had part of my hamstring removed and put into my knee so you could imagine how it would feel to actually sit on a toilet seat. It’s impossible! I could NOT have my leg touch the seat.. even a little bit, so standing it was! How embarrassing to have your dad help you go to the bathroom at 26 years old? lol. Whatever. Anyway.. here is a timeline of my first few weeks.

Had to remember to be BRAVE! Thanks, Holly :)

First time standing with my foot down! Baby steps. lol

Can you imagine sleeping and trying not moving an inch?

Just draining some blood. No biggie.

Might as well do some work!

I’ll tell ya what.. that machine really was not that bad. I was supposed to bend your knee for you up and down for  2 hours at a time, 3 times a day so I would just get really bored. With that said, I would invite my friends over for those 2 hours or do homework. Sometimes I would just take a pain pill and go to sleep though :) I mean, I was told to stay ahead of the pain! With that drain, I knew I was losing blood and my body needed iron, vitamin C and protein for healing. Iron and vitamin C paired together helps increase iron absorption and protein helps aid in healing so I tried to get meat and veggies every time I ate. My dad was a rock star and did literally everything for me from lifting my leg every single time I needed to get up or down to buying me prune juice, haha.

Dad insisted.

I would also take walks around my cul-de-sac (weird word) with my crutches. My neighbors would give me a thumbs up and tell me it looked like I was going faster, haha. Thanks, guys. I felt like I needed to get up all the time because my butt does not like sitting for more than an hour, so you could imagine how I felt after 4 hours at a time (aka butt ulcer). Also, I have Rambo, my crazy weimaraner, who can’t sit still for 1 second so you would assume he was going insane as well.

During this whole situation, it seemed like I could not catch a break from mishaps in my life, but I knew I couldn’t get down, especially after all the help from my friends and family. 

<3

I had to let my 90 year old grandma that she was moving better than myself.

Cause who doesn't wear a knee brace to the beach?

Rambo knew he had to take care of his mamma :)

Just wearing this brace literally EVERYWHERE

I had lots of free time on my hands so I decided to apply for a new job as a clinical dietitian, and ended up getting it!! 

My biggest fan

With that said, I am now adjusted to working at the hospital and starting to run again, post 5 months surgery!!!! I have no pain and I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM THAT I CAN RUN AGAIN AND EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS GOING PERFECT!!!

:)

BFF walks!

First 9 miles on the clearwater bridges!

I’ve said this before in my blogs, and I’ll say it again. Life is crazy—throws you through loop holes, curveballs and lots of nonsense but at the end of the day, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. Just pray, do the absolute best you can, don’t give up til you’re undeniably happy and follow your heart. <--for real. 

and best part of all.... Rambo has his running partner back ;)!

Starting 2015 on the right foot ;)

And to think I was done racing?! Psh! Yesterday, I was back to running the good ol’ half marathon. After my last half in Nov 2013, I thought I would never run another half again, but after this long break, I challenged myself. From the start, I knew I didn’t want to run it. I was actually pissed when I signed up early December and still on Saturday, the day before the race.

On Sunday morning, I just told myself “Whatever you do, just try your best”. I used to get so caught up in trying to get first, beating my P.R. times, and preparing myself before each race that I was mentally and physically DRAINED. I was worried about what I ate more than anything because I thought it played the key role in how I would do. Before each race, my heart would pound to a point where I felt I may have a heart attack and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was antsy and I just wanted to start running. At the beginning of the start line, I would stare down all the other racers while I would tell myself “She’s not making it in front of me”. Who knows how amazing these runners are! They could be champs from freakin China or Kenya, and I’m trying to tell myself not to let them in front of me? For OVER 13 miles?! How bout let’s not. This time, my experience was totally different because this time, I chilled the heck out. Don’t get me wrong, I still made sure I wasn’t eating a pepperoni calzone in the morning, but I didn’t let defeat get to me. If someone was to get in front of me.. SO WHAT? Is the world going to end? Whatever, I’m here trying my best and doing what I love. Mixing racing with the love I have for running was the biggest mistake I could make. I don’t want to feel like a race is just 13.1 miles of someone chasing the hell out of me—I want to enjoy my run like any other day.

Of course I still stood at the front with the elite runners, but this time I smiled at them, looked at their cool/weird shoes and picked up some running gear ideas. While the national anthem was being sung, I prayed that I would get through the race healthy.  I was absolutely freezing, but that’s nothing new. Of course I wore a long sleeve because come on, it’s 50 degrees out, right? No. I swear I was the ONLY person wearing long sleeve out of over 2,000 runners. When I noticed that, I got really nervous and thought about my options. “Should I give my shirt to my dad really quick and just run with my bra? No wait, what about my number, where will that go? Then I can’t see my pictures! My stomachs going to be way too cold, I need this shirt. Yeah, a shirt was a good idea, these people are dumb and they are going to be freezing”. Soon enough, at mile 2, I was a hot tamale. I realized no matter how cold it is outside, tank tops are a must. We went up and down 4 bridges along Clearwater beach and thankfully this was around sunrise because the view was amazing! I was actually thinking in my head “I love this. This is so pretty. Oh her shirts cute! Ha, his was funny. Look at all these people giving me Gatorade! Whoops sorry I didn’t mean to throw that at your face! Wait, I’m almost done!?”. Soon enough, I finished with Jay and Daddio waiting for me at the finish line with smiles.

Results? 1^st for women aged 20-24 and 8^th out of 475 women total. BOOM. I didn’t P.R, but I was still so happy!

Moral of the story… relax and enjoy the run. This goes for life too. You can get so caught up in thinking you’re not good enough because you’re too busy comparing your life with everyone else’s. Just chill out and worry about making yourself happy. The rest will follow :)

..And that mojo continues!!

Well, I had a goal to get first place and I KILLED IT!!!! I got first place overall female! I can’t explain to you the feeling I had going back to racing. Saturday was my first day back since almost a year.  I just love being around “my people”. Walking up to the race, all of the cars have “13.1, ironman, 5k, 10k” bumper stickers. I’m always thinking “Ah! I have that! They GET me!”. When we got to the race, it was freezing and of course I’m wearing spandex shorts (awesome idea). My body was shivering, I had to pee every 5 seconds and I was shaking ridiculously cause I was SO anxious to start. Once I started, I still couldn’t feel my legs but my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. During the race, I slapped a butt (girl I knew), high fived some peeps and thumbs up’ed a few others. Finally, as I wrapped around the last bend, people were cheering me on saying “you’re first.. GOOO GIRL!!”. Just hearing people scream for me gives me goosebumps which somehow makes me run faster. At this point, I’m literally flying as I run past the finish line. The best feeling in the world.

Britt's face though..

Gotta have our biggest supporter there!!

My thoughts about a 10k? Why the heck was I wasting so much time running a freakin half marathon while always getting sick the whole entire day after?! The 10k was so short and sweet (although it WAS 6.37 miles not 6.2 like it should have been). My sister ran the half for this race and ended up throwing up the rest of the night. As for me, I played ultimate Frisbee directly after the race. Such a great day. Sorry Britt ;)

Yes!!

Brittany was first for her age group!

This morning.. And the training continues :)