And to think I was done racing?! Psh! Yesterday, I was back
to running the good ol’ half marathon. After my last half in Nov 2013, I
thought I would never run another half again, but after this long break, I
challenged myself. From the start, I knew I didn’t want to run it. I was actually
pissed when I signed up early December and still on Saturday, the day before
the race.
On Sunday morning, I just told myself “Whatever you do, just
try your best”. I used to get so caught up in trying to get first, beating my
P.R. times, and preparing myself before each race that I was mentally and
physically DRAINED. I was worried about what I ate more than anything because I
thought it played the key role in how I would do. Before each race, my heart
would pound to a point where I felt I may have a heart attack and I didn’t want
to talk to anyone. I was antsy and I just wanted to start running. At the
beginning of the start line, I would stare down all the other racers while I
would tell myself “She’s not making it in front of me”. Who knows how amazing
these runners are! They could be champs from freakin China or Kenya, and I’m
trying to tell myself not to let them in front of me? For OVER 13 miles?! How
bout let’s not. This time, my experience was totally different because this
time, I chilled the heck out. Don’t get me wrong, I still made sure I wasn’t
eating a pepperoni calzone in the morning, but I didn’t let defeat get to me.
If someone was to get in front of me.. SO WHAT? Is the world going to end?
Whatever, I’m here trying my best and doing what I love. Mixing racing with the
love I have for running was the biggest mistake I could make. I don’t want to
feel like a race is just 13.1 miles of someone chasing the hell out of me—I
want to enjoy my run like any other day.
Of course I still stood at the front with the elite runners,
but this time I smiled at them, looked at their cool/weird shoes and picked up
some running gear ideas. While the national anthem was being sung, I prayed
that I would get through the race healthy.
I was absolutely freezing, but that’s nothing new. Of course I wore a
long sleeve because come on, it’s 50 degrees out, right? No. I swear I was the ONLY
person wearing long sleeve out of over 2,000 runners. When I noticed that, I
got really nervous and thought about my options. “Should I give my shirt to my
dad really quick and just run with my bra? No wait, what about my number, where
will that go? Then I can’t see my pictures! My stomachs going to be way too
cold, I need this shirt. Yeah, a shirt was a good idea, these people are dumb
and they are going to be freezing”. Soon enough, at mile 2, I was a hot tamale.
I realized no matter how cold it is outside, tank tops are a must. We went up
and down 4 bridges along Clearwater beach and thankfully this was around
sunrise because the view was amazing! I was actually thinking in my head “I
love this. This is so pretty. Oh her shirts cute! Ha, his was funny. Look at
all these people giving me Gatorade! Whoops sorry I didn’t mean to throw that
at your face! Wait, I’m almost done!?”. Soon enough, I finished with Jay and
Daddio waiting for me at the finish line with smiles.
Results? 1st for women aged 20-24 and 8th
out of 475 women total. BOOM. I didn’t P.R, but I was still so happy!
Moral of the story… relax and enjoy the run. This goes for
life too. You can get so caught up in thinking you’re not good enough because
you’re too busy comparing your life with everyone else’s. Just chill out and
worry about making yourself happy. The rest will follow :)
